So I recall somebody at school in one of my classes that complained about being overweight a lot. It was irritating. Now don't get me wrong; if I was that fat, I would probably be complaining a lot, too. I'd be complaining about how I have to spend twice as much on airfare and my grocery bills. I'd complain about the fact that I smell like I have several rotting corpses of all my small animals that went missing hiding somewhere inside the gelatinous mass of flesh that at one point used to be identified as a human body. I would complain that many compact cars' shocks aren't designed with the "modern man" in mind anymore. I would complain about my inability to complain for long periods of time without becoming winded. Then I would have the courtesy to die and make the world a better place. It would probably make it smell better, too.
I also have a strong aversion to scrawny people who are anorexic or bulimic. In fact, I could probably say that I dislike them more than fat people. Most fat people are jolly, like Santa Claus. Santa Claus is nice, everybody likes Santa Claus. But if Santa Claus was light enough to be caught in a serious tailwind, then that wonderful imagery just really wouldn't mean as much. Sure, we would get twice as much toys since his fatass wouldn't be dampening his load, but it just wouldn't be the same. There are perfectly acceptable reasons for being severely underweight or overweight, like metabolism problems (Hi there). But the people who actually have the indecency to call things like this a disease are akin to rich people who willingly make themselves homeless and then complain about the rats chewing on their scrotums in their sleep and how their box doesn't have any insulation.
I know these are legitimate problems in America, and I know all of us might have loved ones or friends currently afflicted with these... problems. But take a second, and I really want you all to think about the implications here. Think long and hard. Think about how we're in a world where there are third-world countries plagued by famine, with people literally starving to death from lack of food. Then look at our country. There are people in our country, who are dying... BECAUSE THEY EAT TOO FUCKING MUCH. THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING BECAUSE THEY ARE DENYING THEMSELVES THE RIGHT TO EAT, TO ABSORB NUTRITION INTO THEIR SYSTEMS, THEY'RE KILLING THEMSELVES OVER IT. AND YOU WONDER WHY THE REST OF THE WORLD FUCKING HATES US. Of course the countries starving to death probably don't have any education,either, so they also probably think slavery still exists in America, which it does but we're now just using Latinos who volunteer for shitty pay instead. But that's besides the point.
I'd really like to go to some impoverished country in Africa (you won't have to go far) so I could sit down with the children, and try to explain this concept to them. Well, I would have to convince them that I'm not going to kidnap and sell them first, then I would try to explain this concept to them. For a group of people who are trying to get by on elephant piss and dirt everyday, they'll probably look at me like I've lost my fucking mind.
"Did you know? That in America, people can actually die from eating TOO much."
"You're lying, giant white man."
"No, I'm serious. People actually die because they have too much fat, and their bodies just give up and don't want to live anymore."
"...Well I guess that makes sense. I mean, if you can die from never eating, I guess you could die from overeating."
"If I could show you a Wal Mart, you would witness whole pods of people migrating through the store, eating while they walk."
"I don't see how they could eat that much, I barely have the strength to eat, even if I'm hungry. I had ONE whole loaf of bread today. I was even lucky enough to find a few beetles in it."
"Uh, that's disgusting."
"I'm getting so fat that I can't even see my ribs anymore."
"That's normal..."
"In fact, mama's going to cut back on my food because the other villagers are getting jealous, but I also think because she lost her washboard again and wants to use my chest."
"Too much information."
These are strictly first-world country problems. We have so much fucking food that we can actually take the time and figure out that eating too much food can inevitably kill you due to adverse side-effects. We actually have that luxury in our country to find this out. Most people are too busy fighting off the shakes and eating grass like cattle to study these kinds of things, but not us. I bet most people in Africa would think you're just making shit up if you tell them about obesity and overeating being a problem. How people would starve themselves out of some misbegotten notion that they're ugly if they eat too much. They would laugh you out of their houses made of feces and straw for actually thinking they would believe something like that.
You know what's worse, though? This is just the beginning. I mean who knows? Sleep might be next. In fact, there are even studies showing up that people are being put at a more serious medical risk from sleeping too much. Really, it's true. Our culture will hit a point where you will start hearing about people dying thanks to complications caused from sleeping too much. Because we have that kind of free time. There will be people running themselves into the ground, working 80 hours a week and getting 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night, and they won't say a word because they're working as hard as they can, otherwise they're going to be screwed. Then you'll find some douche complaining about how he has bedsores from sleeping too much and it's cutting into his quality time bonding with his new bong that's shaped like a penis.
When you have little Allabar morbidly depressed because he's starving and his parents were killed by AIDS and fed to the rest of his tribe and they all got AIDS and died too, it's a tragedy. I mean, we know why he's depressed, HE'S ALONE AND EVERYBODY HAS AIDS. But then you have people in our society that get depressed because... well, no reason. We've taken the time to figure out that sometimes we just want to afflicted with severe mental illnesses and heavily medicated to stabilize us, while other countries have the luxury of writing them off as possessed and they let natural selection do its work. This is what I'm personally guilty of, suffering from severe clinical depression brought on at my fear of success and that my life is too wonderful for me to deserve it. Somebody's entire city just got wiped out by war and famine, and I'm stressing out because I can't find my antidepressants to subdue my severe, unprovoked moodswings. Because my country lets me get away with that and I have that kind of time on my hands. HUZZAH!
Welcome to the modern world, where we have so much excess of the necessities to live that we have the time to find out just how much of a good thing it takes to kill us.
