My first drug trip repost.

So I've been in rather poor health lately. I've been coughing a lot, I threw up a few times this week, and I've had a hell of a fever. Yet against my better judgment I've continued going around and doing the shit I normally do. Hell I could barely stand this morning but I still commuted 40 minutes to school and damn well made it through. Amidst a fever-induced delirium I was taking notes... and realized I couldn't read what the hell I was writing down. I looked at the teacher, and it was like those old Charlie Brown cartoons where it sounds like someone was gagged with a sock speaking through a shoddy megaphone.

This reminded me of a similar situation in High School. I was no surprise feeling like shit so earlier that day I was on vicodin. I took one, felt mildly better. But in my Algebra II class, a terrible migraine swept over me, and I had another medication for this called Imitrex. I don't know if you know about Imitrex; it's an oral medication taken to treat preexisting headaches and migraines and it beats the living hell out of it. It was eventually pulled from the market in where I live due to a few serious side effects. Like how it could cause long term health risks involving the heart, in severe cases cardiac arrest. So with this information, I surmised that it cured headaches and migraines by killing your heart and reducing blood flow to the brain, making you brain-dead and numb to the pain.

Also a few interesting side-effects.
-fast heart rate, agitation, muscle stiffness, hallucinations, lack of coordination, with nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea;
-sudden and severe stomach pain and bloody diarrhea
-sudden numbness or weakness, especially on one side of the body
-sudden headache, confusion, problems with vision, speech, or balance;

Thanks, Doc! Giving your 15-year old patient both Vicadin and Imitrex was a fucking great idea! While we're at it, let's just start injecting codeine directly into my veins. So yeah, the guy apparently didn't warn me that I shouldn't take these two medications within the same hour or two. I guess I should've known better but I had a temperature of 102, I hadn't had lunch and I couldn't hear my thoughts over my backpack singing the fourth movement of Beethoven's 9th symphony. So I took both and returned to class.

The Vicadin Imitrex cocktail was too much for my malnourished sorry ass to handle, so I couldn't imagine what the hell was going on. I stumbled back to class like a drunkard and I slumped down in my desk. My head was spinning, my backpack was still singing and my ears were ringing. I finally passed out and heard my teacher calling my name to wake me up. I pulled my head up, and what I saw... wasn't what a young man my age didn't want to see. Things got weird. It gets graphic and disgusting here so if you feel things are getting inappropriate, let me know so I can call you a pansy.

I look at the whiteboard, and there was a vagina on it. Not a poorly drawn one or anything, a real, big, disgusting vagina in the middle of class just attached, coming out of the white board. And it wasn't even a nice one, either. It looked like it belonged to a hooker who's been in the business for several years. I nearly let out a "HOLY SHIT" if I didn't start violently coughing and interrupt myself. It was my teacher talking, and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Every time she talked the thing just started flapping open and closed like a mouth. Whenever it talked, numbers and words came out of it and flew onto the whiteboard, spelling out equations and problems. I felt like screaming and wondered why no one else in the room was so horrified by what I saw. Yet they continued taking notes, like nothing was wrong. I didn't really question why it was there, I was too busy dry heaving in my desk to do so.

And it was fucking terrifying for a while. Eventually after being mortified by it enough I passed out and started drooling on the desk. I woke up an hour later, they were 10 minutes into the next period because they apparently couldn't wake me and no one obviously cared enough to call an office or some people because I fucking OD'd on meds in the middle of class. Gotta love my school system. And in all irony, I felt shittier after that. My head was still pounding after the whole experience, and for the rest of the class school year I didn't make eye contact with the whiteboard once.